Get a life!

I do not know when that particular ability of mine went to the dogs.

As far as I can recollect, back in school,

I had an an incredible capacity of listening to the most

insipid,

drab,

nonsensical,

(you get the point ) lectures ever!

Come IIIT, things slowly started to change.

Hence forth me1 is the sensible me and me2 is the-’Get a life!’ me.

(Ah and no, I do not suffer from the split-personality disorder. The two mes co-exist with ideological clashes only )

me1- What the hell is wrong with you! Can you make it through a single class without for once drifting away?

me2- What else do you expect out of a ONE AND A HALF HOUR lecture! It is torture.

me1-  Uh! There are people who listen. I am sure they find something of interest! At least the questions they ask seem intelligent!

me2-What is the whole point? You will anyway burn the mid-night oil before the exams! Save the effort of listening!

me1- How about staying conscious through one class of her’s(ahem no indications what-so-ever made), just for the record’s sake?

*throws hands and legs in air, shrugs and finally relents*

me2- okay.

-next day-

me1- Listen… carefully.

-half an hour passes-

me2- How much time more!?

me1- Just keep to it.

-forty five minutes pass-

me1- Stay put! you are losing touch!

me2- This is how it feels when you listen to an alien language! Words fall on your ear-drums, generate some signals that your processor is unable to dechipher! So all you can hear is – blah blah blah blah!

me1- FOCUS!

*takes a deep breath, strains to listen for another minute. The restlessness spreads and just as it is about to plunge into a full-fledged mutiny*

me1- Okay! Take a break.

*sigh of relief*

*goes horse riding, drinks a fanta-apple, watches dragons fly, breathe fire and then comes back*

*looks at the watch*

me2- ONLY TEN MINUTES SINCE!!

*Someone is found reading a novel. Novel confiscated. More words thrown, of which you only gather ‘discipline’. *

*Immediately thereafter someone is found sleeping. Woken up. Asked to go get married!*

*Enter mode nostalgia*

me2- Remember how as kids when ma tried to push in that extra morsel, you’d make those loud retching noises to which she’d say - koi baat nahi beta, chod do.

me2- No one pronounced you ‘Undisciplined’!

*sighs*

*Exit mode nostalgia*

*draws a few circles and squares. (After all  _something should adorn the empty pages!)*

*looks at the watch- 20 minutes left*

me2- Remember having read about how they used to torture people by hanging them by their thumbs? Or by tickling them with feather with their hands and legs tied up? Or by making them drink copious amounts of water?

Times have changed.

Make a person sit for a one-and-a-half-hour lecture depriving him of novels, sleep, texting, talking, drawing and speak what they all generally speak. There! You’ve hit upon pure torture.

*10 minutes left*

*hears something about assignment*

me1- Dhyaan se sun!

*And lo! As the final verdict- You are supposed to submit 5 codes by the next class~*

me2- Who would not learn to swear!

*5 minutes left*

*professor just remembers the one little portion that is yet to be covered*

*At this point in time, you could smack anyone right in their faces. But you are made to do with clenching the corners of the table*

-one and a half hour over-

*professor still has something to say*

*Attendance!*

*Class over*

*Walks out. Freedom at last*

*Wonders- Is this what heaven feels like?*

Fellow student- ‘Tujhe iska matlab samjha kya?‘

me2- I am human! What are you!

me1(aloud)-‘Nahi yaar, Thik se nahi samjhaya tha yeh!’

PS1: Here is what I did to keep up in one of my classes-

Wrote with my left hand, then wrote mirror image with my left hand. And guess what! I can write mirror image with both by hands While writing I realized that it is more natural to write English with right hand. Considering the direction of the strokes, they are rightward. That got me to thinking that the strokes in Arabic are leftward. Which could mean that there are more left-handed people in all those regions. I did not go to verify, but probably( since the inception of scripts at least) we were more level-headed-left-hemisphere-working people while they were the artistic-right-hemisphere-working people. But then it struck, Chinese-Japanese-Koreans et al were a step ahead. Because they had both leftward and rightward strokes  and wrote from top to bottom! (Ah relax, I still think Indians are the smartest of them lot )

PS2:  I am so looking forward to meet my folks!  

PS3: Changed my theme. That you can see .

PS4: There! I am done